it's interesting to me, well no interesting really isn't the correct word. it's amazing how God speaks to me. the other day i was contemplating going back to work. it has and will continue to be a huge financial sacrifice for me to stay at home. but most often a two income household is necessary in today's world. jay and i were discussing it and the mere thought made me depressed and uneasy. because of course the first thought was of noah; who will take care of him and love him all day long the way that i do - the way his two year old heart deserves. absolutely no one can do it better than me and to give him less than that makes me feel as if i'm cheating my son out. and so after discussing it with jay he told me "let's hang in there a little longer. i know it's tough and i get frustrated too alot of times, but it's for the good of our children." he then preceded to tell me "i support you 100% in staying home with noah while he is this young and in due time things will get better for us." and it was what i really needed to hear. but at the same time i couldn't help but feel like by me not working, our family sacrifices so much.
then yesterday i'm at nicholas' school teaching an art lesson (one of the perks of being a stay at home mom!). his teacher pulls me to the side and wants to talk to me about nicholas. he tells me, "nicholas has such potential to be a great leader. he is well liked by his peers; the girls all think he cute and the boys all compete with his athletic ability. he's very respectful in class and works hard in his studies." then he said something to me that made my eyes widen, "as a teacher, i can always tell which students have stay at home moms, your job is the hardest in the world but it's worth it and it shows." and then i thought to myself that's just what i needed to hear. i need to know, well more like be reassured that what i'm doing is the right thing. it's hard, the financial sacrifices, the whole child-rearing experience is so challenging and difficult at times. but hearing what nicholas' teacher said to me makes me feel a little accomplished in my journey to raising a fine young man.
and so now it is in my prayers for God to help steer my wants and desires away from material things right now. to remain focused and disciplined in our finances so that i can continue to stay home a little longer to raise my boys. at least until noah is old enough for pre-school - which is one more year.
i wanted to share how God spoke to me. i believe in the goodness of God that resonates from the people that journey into our lives.