Thursday, December 10, 2009

i was thinking . . .

of things that soothe me. soothe my soul. ease my mind from the worries that whirl in my mind and heart. sometimes things get to heavy in life, when we feel like we can't take another minute of it. when i feel like this, when i feel like it's hard to breath or hold back tears i look to the things that soothe me.

the laughter of my children
the prescense of my husband
the sound of nicholas playing the ukulele
my camera & taking pictures
and. . . praying.

when i pray i'm always asking God for something. to help me, to guide me, to take care of me and my family. i feel like i'm always asking for something. is this bad? i never forget to thank Him for all that he has blessed me with. because i am blessed. i am blessed with so many wonderful things in my life. but still i ache for guidance in making the right choices in all the things in my life. i still ache to have His hand to hold when i feel like it's too much to hold back the tears. but i feel sad sometimes, because although i never fail to be thankful to Him for all that he has given me - sometimes i get carried away and caught up when things are going just the way i want; i fail to recognize Him in my life the way that i do when i am lost, lonely, or in need. this makes me feel awful. it makes me ashamed that i could get carried away like that. it makes me feel half empty at times.

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