Thursday, July 29, 2010

I miss him . . .

Visiting my dad always seems surreal to me. It never really feels real until we're there at the cemetery. And then I am reminded of his passing, of his battle with cancer, and of how much I miss him.

I wish he could be here to experience my boys!  He would be so amazed at how grown Nicholas is, how athletic and mature he is.  He'd be so proud to see how he is helpful and listens and values our family.  Oh and what FUN he'd have with Noah.  Our sweet, little, spunky Noah boy!  My dad would just get a kick out of his personality.  I smile and feel sad inside just thinking about it. 

My dad would melt with tears if he saw my two boys together.  He'd love seeing their love and adoration for one another; and he'd surely laugh at how much bickering these two do.  But it never, ever gets out of hand; just a bunch of brotherly banter.  He'd enjoy seeing and experiencing all this . . . because he was always so happy and content with being a Papa to Nicholas.

I really, really miss my dad . . .

It's hard to explain to Noah where my dad is, but he is ever-so loving.  He always kisses my dads stone.  If you ask Noah where his Papa John is, he'll reply "In heaven with God."

This is what I wish my dad could see between these two boys.  Their friendly banter. 

He'd laugh at how quickly these two can entertain one another!

I hope Nicholas will one day tell Noah of all the sweet and wonderful memories he had with my dad.  He remembers little things, like ice-cream with Papa and visiting my dad's work to ride the fork-lift, and how much my dad LOVED the San Diego Chargers.  I hope Nicholas will share these memories with his brother; so Noah will know how happy being a Papa made him!

Mom and the two rugrats.  I know these two make her day always!  She loves them to pieces and she always looks forward to being with them and seeing them!

Noah saluting a Medal of Honor Veteran.  This young was only 25 . . .

A view of San Diego.  A beautiful view, indeed.

Mom and Poly

My family . . .this photo is PERFECT!  It wouldn't be right if Noah just smiled normally.  It's real, his facial expressions are a riot.  It's what we see and laugh about daily.  It's what keeps our day-to-day routine extra-ordinary :0)

This kid is a riot.  He's spunky and loveable, difficult and friendly, moody and sweet.  He's a walking contradiction and boy do I sure love him. 

Visiting my dad always make me happy and sad.  I feel happy to visit him, to somehow be nearer to him.  And yet I am sad because it forces me to remember the reality of it all.  Visiting my dad is a reminder of the piece that is missing in my life.  I have such a blessed life; I just wish that my dad was alive to share it with me. 

I do believe that he is in heaven with God, watching over us.  Smiling and enjoying the view from above.  I just miss him . . .


  1. Hi Mistylori,

    Blessings and prayers to your Dad.

    Love, Auntie Kathy

  2. Hi Mis,

    This is a beautiful, well written prayer of what you are and have been most thankful for..your family. I am saddened that your dad cannot physically be here to witness your beautiful boys growing and loving each other the way they do, but I also believe that he is smiling down every second, and he would be so proud that he raised such a beautiful, loving & humble daughter. I love you Mis.

    With Love Always,

    Fran ;)

  3. Choking back tears for you cousin. I love the way you love your dad. Makes me cherish my moments with my dad that much more. Just remember that your boys are a reflection of your dad shining through you and how you are raising them. :)

    ~Sherry Corona