i don't have alot of time . . . gotta run & pick nicholas up from school soon. but these thoughts have been lingering in my mind. kinda sporadic.
what is it about fall/autumn that makes me feel like creating something? it makes me also want to implement change. i'm big on change - i'm scared of it but i love it at the same time. i love the cool crisp air - the freshness. you can just smell the holidays, the warmth & the comfort in the air.
i've also been thinking alot about feeling powerful & what makes me feel that way. i won't be dishonest, most often i define power by how much money i have to spend or how much i can buy. it's awful, i know, but i'm choosing to be completely honest here. but lately, and it hasn't been by choice, i've had to cut back, to spend less, even less than what we normally do. and it's been hard. but i've been doing alot of thinking on this and in many ways i feel the power of will to choose to be smart with how me & my family spend our money. i feel powerful more & more when i look at what we choose to do with our money - it's all well spent. it's not for lost causes - it's all for the good of my kids & family. and that makes me feel more powerful than anything because at the start & end of everyday i have & always will choose what is best for them. we've been utilizing the library more & that alone has brought great smiles to our faces & we've discovered so many great programs there! we've also walked to school this week & to me there isn't anything more theraputic than getting out there and going for a good walk. in all of this, whether i choose to call it hardship, i feel that this will only teach my kids to value the tangible & the intangible things that we work so hard to provide for them.
was thinking of all this as i was on my hands & kness mopping my downstairs floors :)
time to pick up my big boy!